Dear Authentic Introvert,
Life can get pretty hectic, and sometimes it seems everyone wants a piece of your time.
Saying “no” is already hard enough so you might think helping them a little bit won’t harm.
And before you know it, you’re consumed into offering too many of these tiny bits of help.
What’s worse is that people don’t even realize what they are doing to you because for them, they are the only ones.
This becomes a vicious cycle and starts taking a toll on your social energy and mental health.
And now you’re stuck because people are used to giving you a call for every little thing and you can’t think of a reason to deny.
Because you’ve done it for them for the past one hundred times, how can you suddenly say ‘NO!’?
Before we move forward, let me share a hard truth with you.
Such people may feel grateful the first couple of times but after that, this becomes a habit.
In their minds, they are no longer seeking your help but practicing their right, like they’ve done so many times before.
You’d notice them getting increasingly assertive because they know they have you.
Sorry to say this to you, my friend, but you are replaceable – at least for the kind of people we’re talking about.
They come to you first, not just because they adore you but because you are their most convenient option.
Want to say, ‘it’s enough’? Then say it.
This needs to change now.
We must aim to achieve the following starting right now:
Break their habit by not always being available.
Learn to say ‘NO’ without an explanation. ‘I can’t right now’ is good enough.
Teach people to contact you at your preferred time.
Make them pay someone else for petty jobs that are not worth your time.
Here’s the action plan:
Starting today, stop always taking people’s calls. Start being unavailable intentionally.
Say ‘no’ to jobs they can hire someone for. Suggest this alternative when they come to you because you have better things to do.
Even if it’s about work that you’re willing to do, fix a time slot for such calls during the day and ask people to call back during that time.
For things you don’t like doing but are doing only as favors, start stating clearly that you won’t do it because you don’t feel like it.
People who need favors from you must respect your likes and dislikes.
It may feel harder to do in the beginning but it’s only in your mind.
It’s simple and you’ve every right to do so unapologetically.
Slowly people will learn to be respectful of your time, and trust me, those who respect you will value you more.
And for the hard nuts who just don’t get it, there is an option to block in your phone.
Key Takeaway
Stop always being available for people. Respect your time and teach them to do the same.
Your Respectful Friend,
Sachin Sharma